you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
