Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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