"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
