hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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