the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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