i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
