"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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