Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
this hospital has no fireball
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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