tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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