why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
