I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
