Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
