Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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