Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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