Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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