to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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