I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
