so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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