its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize
