Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
