Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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