so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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