yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just cropdusted the office
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
