Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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