She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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