Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize