Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
