don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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