Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
