what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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