I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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