Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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