you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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