I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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