Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't think brook has ever known best
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I will be naked everywhere
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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