i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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