I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
