We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
