O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
