yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
