so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
