i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
