It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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