i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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