Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
