yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Randomize
