so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
