I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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