i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
