I smell stomach acid.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
