I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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