I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
