i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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