And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
