we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
