I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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