nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
