...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
