Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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